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Sartorial Notes | The Walking Dead

November 29, 2012

If this holiday season you’re in the hunt for some zombie apocalypse gear, look no further than The Walking Dead for tips on all of your walker wear related items. Here are some Sartorial Notes on how to emulate and dominate doomsday in style.

Rick-wear: What can we learn from Rick’s attire? A hard-wearing jacket keeps out the cold, stores ammo and looks damn good doing it. As you prep for armageddon opt for this Oil Finish Shelter Cloth Jacket from Filson. It’s cut close to the body, yet thick enough to let you shed off packs of zombies like Christian “The Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye in Tecmo Super Bowl. As they describe,”A water and wind resistant jacket for comfort in the field or out in town *or running from the undead.” Ok, I might have added that last part.

Governor-gear: The Gov’s all about the quilted shooting vest and why the hell shouldn’t he be? Your shoulder will be awfully sore after firing off shot after shot at the waves of walkers that are likely to invade any stronghold you hole up in. Just make sure you’re storing up plenty of ammunition and one of these shooting vests from Barbour.

Glenn-getup: Glenn survives by keeping his shit basic with the simple stripe t-shirts. While a t-shirt doesn’t give a man much protection against biters, it does provide full range of motion when you need to swing a machete (or melee weapon of choice) and the arm stripes do look good when slashing and bashing zombie brain. You’ll need more than a few for all the splatter, so stock pile them on the cheap at Target.

Shane-style: Cargo pants are far from practical these days, as if I have “cargo” I’ll store it in some sort of pack and not on my damn thighs. All that changes when you have brain-eating ghouls roaming free-range and looking for a snack. When that shit goes down, you better believe I’m all about some cargo pants filled up with shotgun shells and Baby Snickers (hey, a guy’s gotta eat). Go ahead and snag these from Gant by Michael Bastian and all the other survivors will be all like, “Oh shit, I wish I’d have thought to snag those before zombies ate my family.”

Daryl-dress: The poncho is multi-dimentional as a mo-fo, which will be huge when you’re constantly on the move, hiding from creatures that want to consume your flesh. You can use it in the classic Clint Eastwood sense or roll that shit up as a pillow or spread it out for a picnic lunch for you and your doomsday darling. You’re gonna need to employ a lil’ DIY action, as the poncho isn’t due for a menswear resurgence until after the zombie apocalypse, so score this LVC Swan Island Blanket from Unionmade and cut a hole through the middle and voilà.

Michonne-menswear: Remember that the samurai sword is the perfect zombie killing weapon, so get your hands on one of those from some local dojo before everyone starts to wise up. But overtime you’re gonna need to have something to keep your hair out of your eyes, as your barber will probably be out of business due to the whole world-as-we-know-it-not-existing-anymore thing. So when your hair becomes bushier than Lapo Elkann’s, keep that shit outta your face with this Hill-side Selvedge Guatemalan Hand-Woven Bandana from Hickorees.

Dale-dress: Nah bro, even at the end of the world you shouldn’t be wearing a bucket hat.

T-Dogg-trappings: Think about it man, sooner or later your group of survivors are going to run into a group of ruffians looking to fuck shit up. Maybe they’re former military types or even more likely, some hill-folk who are only alive ’cause they some backwoods livin’ fam who didn’t even realize the zombie plague even hit until 4 months in and they made their way into town for their bi-yearly trip down the mountain to stock up on supplies for the winter and the whole town was straight up infected with zombieitis. Since they’re some hard, heart-less appalachian folks, they somehow managed to survive on possum and wild berries. Anyway, their gonna kill off the first member or two of your group and the guy they always pick is the flashiest dude, so hide your jawns and put on the T-Dogg classic grey t-shirt so you basically go un-noticed when they line your group up and start popping off shots. Remember, staying alive is the only game there is to play now. Might as well snatch up a few from A.P.C. just in case.

Hershel-hardwear: Can’t have your pants sagging down when you gotta run a 4.5 40 through packs of the undead. Play that shit safe like Hershel-daddy and get yourself a pair of braces/suspenders. And don’t get the hipster\clip on bull shit variety. THIS SHIT IS SERIOUS DOG! YOU GONNA BE RUNNING FROM DEAD ASS CREATURES THAT WANNA EAT YOUR BRAIN! Sorry for the tough love, just makin’ sure you know these are some grave, life or death kind of suspenders. You can only buy that kind from Brooks Brothers.


5 Comments leave one →
  1. abel F permalink
    November 29, 2012 4:48 pm

    great post love the show and the concept!

  2. November 30, 2012 11:33 am

    Great list.

    I was never able to take anything Dale said seriously because of his goofy bucket hat.

  3. November 30, 2012 10:51 pm

    *applause* Well done


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